im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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