The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
