I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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