forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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