guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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