All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
