The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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