I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
