Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
