what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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