you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
