We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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