I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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