I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I am mentally ready for anal.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
