with your own penis?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
