I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
