I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
