Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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