Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
