you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize