Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
