There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
