for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
