that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
