like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
