Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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