You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
