I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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