Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
