my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Randomize
