A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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