I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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