ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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