I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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