Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
