The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
