I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
