Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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