My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
