I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
