I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
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