I think I died a long time ago.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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