hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
so explain again why im purple
no
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
