I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
