meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
