Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
