do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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