Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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