i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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