Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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