Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
