Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
