I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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