I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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