i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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