I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
