I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
