Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
