I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
