Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
