Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
